Caleb seemed to learn well when he was at home and in the orchard because there was always time to practice and get it right. But at school, it was a different thing, Caleb never felt like he had mastery of anything. He was so convicted by his learning between home and school. He did not let his parents know; as they thought he learned just fine. But with the school year winding down and the orchard needing attention, Caleb’s frustration grew. He finally had had enough. One evening he asked his parents if he could be homeschooled.
After supper, I went to do my homework and finally got ready for bed. I was really very tired from my work shift. As I got into bed. My usual prayers for family and friends turned to work. I prayed for wisdom and grace at work. That I would learn and show competence. My fear inside was that I would fail and be embarrassed at work, or fired. After praying, I was quickly falling asleep, and I heard a tiny voice say, “You are competent.” My eyes shot open, I scanned the room for a figure or source for the voice. There was none to be found. I laid awake for some time nervously thinking about the voice. Finally, I relaxed enough again to fall asleep.
Well, a week went by, and Grace had watched the video several times a day every day. After the third time she could watch without crying, and after the fifth time, she could be less critical of her movements. By the end of the week, Grace had watched it and just enjoyed the artful beauty of the dance, not even thinking about herself. She grew in her confidence and assurance that she could perform. Shelly called her near the end of the week and asked how she was feeling. Grace and Shelly had a nice chat and agreed to meet for practice, the next day.
My mind started to consider his message in my own life. It raised some serious questions for me. I have been having difficulty learning to spell and write in school, and it is obvious to me my brothers do not share in this weakness. My questions start with my dyslexia, is it a weakness that Christ Jesus would use his power to help?
“What’s the worst that could happen?” my mother said, as I sat on my bed worrying about how my friend’s reaction to my dishonesty. My mind was racing, my feelings were all over the place, sadness, anger, humiliation, frustration, and agony. It just seemed as though my overthinking this problem was making it worse. But the thoughts and feelings kept coming. I was overwhelmed.